Year 2020: The Year of the Nurse

Nurses are in the trenches and on the front lines of care during this global health crisis. We go into battle and if we are lucky, we emerge unscathed – but more often not, nurses carry psychological and emotional battle scars. Every nurses during this pandemic has a story and here’s mine.
March 2020- New Jersey got badly hit by the Covid-19 pandemic. State lockdown was imposed. Numerous cases were tallied daily and death tolls were rising. We ran out of ventilators and our hospitals were in full capacity.

March 21- my symptoms of COVID-19 appeared. I tested positive on the 25th, I managed my symptoms at home and I stayed on isolation until April 7th. April 8th- physically I have fully recovered and went back to work. We were understaffed, I had 5 patients, three of them expired in my shift. And code blues and rapid response were being called over head - every freaking 15- 30mins. 😢 The whole months of March-May were just like a scene of a horror movie. 🥺

May to June, I kept waking up at one in the morning. My eyes were soaking wet. I cried so many times over a death of patients from my previous shift. I kept hearing the abnormal heart or ventilator monitor alarms constantly ringing in my head. A few instances I get awakened by a horrible nightmares. A bad dream seeing dead bodies stocked in piles inside our trailers trucks and a memory of my beloved coworker that my team attempted to resuscitate and she sadly had untimely succumbed from COVID-19 infection after serving our patients at the bedside.

What I went through isn’t easy after all. I reached out for help and addressed my mental health needs. I noticed that depression is starting to set in. Episodes of mode swings, irritability, insomnia, lack of drive to perform my activities of daily living. I just wanted to escape the moment- Once became sedentary during my rest days. Stress eating was became my unhealthy coping that caused to gain weight. This isn't me, and I need to do something better than being a couch potato.

I took the baby steps to heal myself. I sought consult for a professional help. Once a week for almost two months I am over the phone with someone for counseling sessions that absolutely helped me deal with my post traumatic stress symptoms. I keep myself grounded in prayer, meditation, yoga, journaling and staying in touch with people that are significant in my life- my family and friends. I focused in building resilience to just face the new normal.

Here’s the greatest lesson I have learned~ I know I won’t be able to control the toxic work environment that I am in or I was in during the peak of the pandemic but I am in control on how to react and deal with the situation. I’ve learned to just accept the fact that WE CAN’T SAVE ALL our patients. I am somehow feeling privileged to be with them during the last few moments of their life and I held their hands- and said a prayer for the eternal repose of their souls.🙏🏼

My message to those who think that this pandemic is a HOAX. Stop this stupid belief of yours! Open your eyes!!!! Wear your freaking mask and and stop turning this into a political game. I will never wish for Covid-19 to hit anyone - not even you or your family members.

2020 is not the greatest year but as Year of the Nurse - I will never ever forget how this whole thing changed me and how I perceive the true essence of caring in nursing. And how “team nursing” plays a huge role in the course of the pandemic. I am thankful to all our travel nurses who extended their help during this difficult time.

The war against COVID-19 is not over yet. Experts say that there is a possibility of the resurgence of cases in the Fall but hoping it isn’t as bad as the first time we’ve experienced it. I have learned to over rule FAITH OVER FEAR. I believe that God performs its glorious miracles up to this day. I might be scarred but not broken. I will continue to strive to be the best healthcare worker that I can be. 💜

March 21- my symptoms of COVID-19 appeared. I tested positive on the 25th, I managed my symptoms at home and I stayed on isolation until April 7th. April 8th- physically I have fully recovered and went back to work. We were understaffed, I had 5 patients, three of them expired in my shift. And code blues and rapid response were being called over head - every freaking 15- 30mins. 😢 The whole months of March-May were just like a scene of a horror movie. 🥺

May to June, I kept waking up at one in the morning. My eyes were soaking wet. I cried so many times over a death of patients from my previous shift. I kept hearing the abnormal heart or ventilator monitor alarms constantly ringing in my head. A few instances I get awakened by a horrible nightmares. A bad dream seeing dead bodies stocked in piles inside our trailers trucks and a memory of my beloved coworker that my team attempted to resuscitate and she sadly had untimely succumbed from COVID-19 infection after serving our patients at the bedside.

What I went through isn’t easy after all. I reached out for help and addressed my mental health needs. I noticed that depression is starting to set in. Episodes of mode swings, irritability, insomnia, lack of drive to perform my activities of daily living. I just wanted to escape the moment- Once became sedentary during my rest days. Stress eating was became my unhealthy coping that caused to gain weight. This isn't me, and I need to do something better than being a couch potato.

I took the baby steps to heal myself. I sought consult for a professional help. Once a week for almost two months I am over the phone with someone for counseling sessions that absolutely helped me deal with my post traumatic stress symptoms. I keep myself grounded in prayer, meditation, yoga, journaling and staying in touch with people that are significant in my life- my family and friends. I focused in building resilience to just face the new normal.

Here’s the greatest lesson I have learned~ I know I won’t be able to control the toxic work environment that I am in or I was in during the peak of the pandemic but I am in control on how to react and deal with the situation. I’ve learned to just accept the fact that WE CAN’T SAVE ALL our patients. I am somehow feeling privileged to be with them during the last few moments of their life and I held their hands- and said a prayer for the eternal repose of their souls.🙏🏼

My message to those who think that this pandemic is a HOAX. Stop this stupid belief of yours! Open your eyes!!!! Wear your freaking mask and and stop turning this into a political game. I will never wish for Covid-19 to hit anyone - not even you or your family members.

2020 is not the greatest year but as Year of the Nurse - I will never ever forget how this whole thing changed me and how I perceive the true essence of caring in nursing. And how “team nursing” plays a huge role in the course of the pandemic. I am thankful to all our travel nurses who extended their help during this difficult time.

The war against COVID-19 is not over yet. Experts say that there is a possibility of the resurgence of cases in the Fall but hoping it isn’t as bad as the first time we’ve experienced it. I have learned to over rule FAITH OVER FEAR. I believe that God performs its glorious miracles up to this day. I might be scarred but not broken. I will continue to strive to be the best healthcare worker that I can be. 💜

Socially Distant, Spiritually Connected Amidst the COVID-19 Crisis: Fr. Randy'sTalk

SOCIALLY DISTANT. SPIRITUALLY CONNECTED

by Fr. Randy Figuracion

 

Maayong Buntag kaninyong tanan! First of all, I would like to welcome you to this On-line Talk/Sharing organized for the Members of the Philippine Nurses Association Cebu-Chapter and the COVID19 Cebu Nurses Support Group in Cebu or where-ever you are in the world.

 

I am Fr. Randy Figuracion, a Salesian of Don Bosco and currently the Parish Priest of the Archdiocesan Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in Punta Princesa, Cebu City. Since July 9, I have offered masses, prayers and sacrifices for all of you and your families – especially for the fruitfulness of this talk. Like Jesus, I pray that the seeds sown here will bear fruit and multiply in your hearts and in your lives.

 

As I start, I would like to thank the Organizers of this activity – especially Ms. Mariles Rallos Mushet, a New Jersey-based Nurse who invited me. And I would like to thank all of you nurses who took time; to stop for a while; to listen and hopefully pick up some insights to help you in your different lives. I have a close affinity for nurses – because my Mama is a nurse; I owe my life to her. She was one of the first nurses who got employed in Austria, in Europe in the 1970s, working there for 40 years; my elder sister is a nurse and works in a Nursing Home in Vienna; my youngest brother is also a nurse and now works as a Staff Nurse at the Vienna International Center which hosts the United Nations Office in Vienna.

 

The TOPIC proposed for this sharing is this: Socially Distant, Spiritually Connected. It is a fitting topic for our times. Because of Covid – we are to practice physical distance; no hand shake, no hugging, even the very Pinoy tradition of Mano (kissing the hand of the elderly or priest for blessing) is a Big No. In fact, this very activity is a proactive response to our situation because we are socially distant. Yet despite this limitation, we can still be spiritually connected. There is a wonderful principle at work here: Despite Covid, grace does not stop; grace is not limited even by distance or illness; grace does not cease! In other words, grace continues to flow in our lives. God’s grace is at work even at this moment! Isn’t that amazing? We are always in God’s loving care and He reaches out to us in unlimited ways.

 

Let me begin with God’s Word. I believe our connection with God, the Higher Being that controls the world and our lives, is the source of our power and strength.

Jesus Calms the Storm (Mt 8: 23-27)

²³ Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴ Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵ The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

²⁶ He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

²⁷ The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

 

You might be familiar with the Movie: Schindler’s List. It’s about Oskar Schindler, a German businessman who saved more than a thousand Polish-Jews from being sent to Auschwitz Concentration Camp during the Nazi occupation of Poland.

 

One impressive scene in the Movie was: When the German Commandant Goeth wanted to execute a worker arbitrarily – the gun he was holding won’t fire! He tries to reload and shoot him. It just won’t fire. He took another gun from a soldier. Still it won’t fire. In his anger, he just slapped him on the face!

 

The man survived the execution. In fact, he also survived the concentration camp and the war. It turned out, this man was a Rabbi (a Jewish Man of God). He must have prayed so hard that he survived. Miracles still happen! That was, definitely, a work of grace.

 

During this Covid Pandemic here in Cebu, I have witnessed many miracles. One happened to the wife of one of my parishioners. She tested positive in the 1^st week of June. The husband brought her to Chong Hua Hospital. She had fever, cough and difficulty of breathing. All symptoms of Covid. At that time, everybody told him the hospitals were full. It was also at this time when news were claiming that Litang Abarquez, the Pardo Barangay Captain, was declined by several hospitals and eventually died.

 

Yet miraculously, she got a room while many were turned down. Her room was even close to the Nurses’ Station. After almost two weeks in the hospital room, they had a negative swab test result for her and her husband who watched over her all the time. Today they are back home in the embrace of their three kids.

 

Experiencing Covid infection was a great storm in their family. But they kept a strict hygienic discipline, trusted in God, prayed always and kept a positive attitude. In the end, they were able to handle that formidable storm.

 

In the Gospel we just read (Mt 8), this is one of the extraordinary miracle of Jesus. He calmed a fierce storm. For the disciples, nothing like this ever happened before! It happened in the Sea of Galilee. The Jews call it “Sea” – but its actually a fresh-water lake. They also call it Lake Tiberias or Lake Kineseret (Kinor in Hebrew = Harp); the lake has a heart shape. It is 53km in circumference; 21km long and 13km wide. Its maximum depth is 141 feet. It has still a lot of fish. If you go for a boat ride, you’ll end up in a sea-side restaurant for lunch and they’ll offer you St. Peter’s fish (actually tilapia).

 

The hills around the lake are steep; they rise sharply to 2,000 up to 4,000 feet. Because of this unique topography and unique geographical location, it is prone to sudden and violent storms. This incident is also reported in other Gospels (Mk 4:35-44; Lk 8:22-25).

 

In this Lake, storms arrive without warning; they can be violent and full of fury. The disciples were filled with fear seeing the waves seizing the boat; water was coming in; the waves were unforgiving. They were shaking; the sight was overwhelming. Then they cried out: Lord, save us! We are lost.. Please deliver us.

 

Amazingly, Jesus stood up from his sleep. He rebuked the wind and the waves. Then there was calm. All was still again. He was in control!

 

What is the meaning of this Gospel story for us? This reminds us that we too, have storms in our life; some frail, others terribly dangerous and threatening. This Covid is a dangerous crisis we are facing. Some have survived; while others are just a memory in past. The bad news is: we are still in this fierce pandemic; the battle is still raging with no assurance or timeline when this would end.

 

Storms have a purpose in our lives. They will strike suddenly, violently; uninvited; without warning. But if we are with Jesus, the storm can get calm; the most terrible tempest turns to peace. Storms reveal our fragility; our need for outside help. We realize we are not as powerful, secure and self-sufficient as we think we are. Only in Jesus will we have peace, safety and security.

 

Hence, we are invited to turn from fear to faith. When you experience fear, fright, worry, doubt or even panic.. Remember this gospel story. Jesus can change your panic to peace. Like the disciples, shout out to Christ: Lord, save us.. Deliver us! Turn your fear to faith.

 

I have this acronym of F.A.I.T.H. that might help us; to have a heart full of faith..

 

F: Focus on the Lord – not on the winds & waves but look to Jesus; fix your gaze on Christ

A: Accept His Power – Surrender to His might; He can calm our storms; put our life in order

I: Invite Him in your life – Make Him your Lord and Savior; make Him your anchor & strength

T: Trust Him – He can save you; He is your security; the rock of your salvation

H: Hope in Him – He will never let you down; not disappoint you. You can count on Him!

 

Let me end by giving you a Performance Task: This is a memory challenge. I would like you to Memorize Psalm 23: The Lord is my Shepherd (within One Week).

 

This Psalm is one of the most familiar; also one of the most powerful and engaging. It is made up of Four Stanzas. You can memorize it easily. What is the benefit of keeping it in your memory? You can easily return to it. You can use it for prayer because its inspired by the Holy Spirit. It gives you good vibes.

 

Remember: your positive mindset will define your day and your work. This Psalm will put you in a mood of faith which can give you a better mental attitude; it can relieve your stress, increase your immunity and improve your general well-being.

 

Now don’t get stressed by the memory work. I think, even if you just memorize the first two lines of this Psalm: The Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I shall want.. and believe in your heart that as a Shepherd He is taking care of you and will keep you safe.. that is more than enough.

I hope that this talk has been helpful to all of you. Though we may be Socially Distant, but we can still be spiritually connected by our prayers, our faith and love for one another. Laban lang! Keep the good fight because the Lord is our Shepherd. Amen.